I’m Getting Worse… but I’m Fine

I have been really messed up the past few weeks. I have been losing my mind. I have felt the anxiety building just waiting to burst inside of me.

Back in May I had a CT scan done. For my shoulder and lower back. And well since that it has gotten even worse. So I went to the doctor through urgent care at my hospital two weeks ago this Monday .

The doctor I was given for this visit was extremely nice and funny cracking simple jokes my way. Which made me feel a little more at ease about the visit.

He asked the reason for my visit. I gave him the entire ten year spill. My mom came along to be my backup brain. And he looked at me with concern then shot a look to my mom. He tested my strengthin both hands and was concerned and sent me directly to the lab.

I came back from the lab. We are gonna call him, Dr.T, he came in and said “I’m getting a referral for you to be seen by a neurologist.”

I almost passed out. He was telling me me some thing he found in my blood work. And explained why he was sending me to a neurologist. Good thing I had my mom there because I heard nothing he said.

I was trying to keep myself from passing out from anxiety. Dr.T left the room and I laid back on the bed/chair thing I’m not sure what they are classified as; anyway mom thought I had passed out. She started saying my name really loud. I didn’t want to answer, but I said the statement we all know isn’t true but we still say it anyway “I’m Fine”.

So after my mini breakdown and nearly passing out. We left. Hoping and waiting for the referral, which finally came this past Thursday.

I am so anxious to find out anything. Is this it? Is this the breakthrough I’ve been waiting nearly ten years for? Will I finally get something answered? So many questions, so many things to address.

Unfortunate Pain In My…. I’m Fine, I think.

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