Speaking Out: My Problems With Anger

I have never been confident enough to speak out about this. I’ve always been ashamed about my anger problems and I never really bring it up unless I’m ready.

But every time I’m having a conversation about my health and I explain that I struggle with depression, anxiety. Well when I mention anger, it is like I threw them a curve ball.

If you were to ask my family to describe me they would probably say sweet, kind, compassionate. Something along those lines.  Anyway, people can’t believe that I struggle with an anger problem. 

I was in middle school and started going to therapy for my anger. It is like a light switch being flipped on and off. My anger would come and go.

It really shows when I’m really stressed out about something. I start getting agitated then start screaming, yelling, throwing things or breaking things. 

My mom and dad didn’t really know what to do with me. So that’s where therapy came in. Now don’t get me wrong it did help some but I just dreaded going.

My brother can push my buttons so easily. I would yell at him, we would throw things back and forth until someone wound up hurt. I never could get to the root of my anger. After an argument I was usually sent to my room where I would take a nap and light switch affect; it would be like nothing ever happened. 

It was almost like I would blackout after it happened. And my parents would ask me “why did you say that” or “why did you do that”.  My response always sounded sarcastic “well i have a question too, what exactly are we talking about”. 

I get stressed and my anxiety rises then here comes the anger. Lately I’ve been able to keep my anger under wraps with meds and other things, not explode so much. My limits are pretty close to each other. I try so hard to not get overwhelmed with it, but it’s not easy.  It’s a Unfortunate Pain In My…. you know what I was thinking. Ha Ha.


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