Looking For A Future Through The Fog

Recently I’ve been a little foggy. I space out quite a bit and my mind wanders through the fog. I’m trying to find what I really want but I just can’t find it.

When I graduated from high school I was in a rough place. I was stressed, tired and mentally not well. Depression was taking over and anxiety was making itself at home. I felt like I was never going to get out. I got my job at the vet clinic and things started to look up. It was going good for awhile then I started to get burnt out. I started to get sick again.

Then my mom got sick, then my grandma got really sick and was put in the hospital for a long time. I started to sink away again. My job sorta pulled me from the dark, helped me realize that there was more for me to do than feel sorry for myself. Things faded in and out like a flickering candle.

Here recently I’ve lost my self again, letting the dark cloud of depression and the storm of anxiety lead me around. Making my choices blurred and my mind foggy. 

Even though I’m a bit foggy and can’t remember much. I have come to a conclusion. So it is time for me to stop dwelling on the past and think about my future. I can’t be stuck in the dark forever, right? 

I’ve been thinking about school, going to college; finding something that makes me happy, confident in myself. Something that I not only want to do but something that will help me grow as a person. I feel stuck right now, but I’m ready to keep moving. 

Over the past three years I’ve just wandered around not really finding my true place. I’m trying to get there. Well I haven’t decided yet on what I’m going to do or where I’m going to go.  I’m looking for that future even though it isn’t clear yet, I’m eventually going to find it. 


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