Rant No. 4 – Name Of The Game Is….

If single were a game I would probably be winning. Why am I single?  I’ll tell you why. 

  1.  I have enough trouble worrying about myself. 
  2. I really don’t care for people touching me. That is not for a germ reason, it’s a feeling reason.  
  3.  I am emotionally, well I guess the word would be unstable. 
  4.  You better be a superhero or something to keep my attention. 
  5.  I have anxiety, me and people really don’t mix well. 

Now let me explain. I want to date but I’m in a place right now where I just can’t. I have  reasons which interlock with one another. 

People touching me gives me anxiety. Plus I have chronic fatigue and pain so everything hurts. As for people getting my attention, keeping my interest is hard work. My ADD and ADHD are a bit of a  small problem.  Emotionally I’m imbalanced, which is where depression and the anxiety attacks come in. I know we are talking about going on a date with one person, but if I go somewhere where there is a crowd, guess who comes knocking,  claustrophobia. And for crying out loud if I was in a relationship with someone, they better know how to take care of themselves and not depend on me to do so. You know what I’m saying.

Do I want to be single? I would love to the right guy but right now I don’t have a chance. Every time I get asked out I find a stupid excuse not to go. Do I worry about going out?  Probably, i can’t help it. 

Most don’t get what I go through, I say I’m okay with it but honestly it’s hard. It’s just another unfortunate pain in my…

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